Don’t ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that.
Because what the world needs is people who have come alive. -Harold Whitman

Thursday, December 15, 2011

[also overwhelmed]

and the scary part is i did a lot of things ahead of time to keep myself from feeling overwhelmed.  and yet here i am still feeling like i am racing the clock.  going on a week long trip for thanksgiving and a days before xmas birthday do not help, but these are joyous things and i can't let myself get all stressed out over something good.  christmas in my family is often an emotionally charged holiday, we all have very strong personalities, and well, we are not known for yielding when we feel justifiably wronged.  oi.  so this month is sort of spring loaded jack in the box waiting to explode.  every year i assign myself the job of not turning that crank anymore than absolutely necessary, and maybe we can just keep that box from bursting open.  deep breath.

today. today is all i can control.  on the docket today:

  • drop off kid 1 at school
  • drop off kid 2 at school
  • harass pre-school picture company about not listing ordering deadlines on the form and having a late fee of $13
  • call the father-in-law and figure out schedule for tomorrow with kids
  • shower
  • start straightening up the house or at least put laundry away
  • renew my expired driver's license
  • costco for groceries and to pick up photo prints from vacation for xmas presents for grandparents and vacation scrapbook (because many have asked to see photos from the make a wish at the boy's bday party, so yes I've been stressing myself to deliver, but also because I am on a mission to start printing more) done except the part where the changed the color profile so my 300+ prints are off. . .i don't want to talk about it.
  • take the boy to get his hair cut after school um yeah, the girl got her haircut too. . .i'm not super happy, i liked it long
  • feed the children
  • take the children to number 2's xmas program
  • put the children immediately to bed as it will be past bedtime
  • answer urgent emails from clients
  • perhaps clean some more
  • go to bed before 11 pm (ha, like that will happen)
and it's grey and cloudy and windy and wet today, and i am starting a cold. . .the odds are stacking against me.  but i will do this, find my calm.  make good choices, control my chaos, not let it control me.

i can do this
i am doing this
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