{perseverance}

Since I started this journey to optimal health I have been pretty focused.  I've strayed a few times but have been able to retrain my brain to jump right back on plan.  In the past when I was on a diet (my program isn't a diet) and 'screwed up' I would do one of two things; not eat the rest of the day or I would say "oh well, I'll start again tomorrow" and then eat whatever I wanted the rest of the day.  Both of these approaches are counter productive and not physically or mentally healthy.

I don't know if it was a little bit of 'plan fatigue,' working for so long towards a goal that I wanted to have a break or what, but last weekend I made the decision to go off plan all weekend.  I ate and drank whatever I wanted all weekend, and it was mostly junk.


BOY WAS THAT A BAD IDEA!!!


Here is a list of what I noticed:
1. I no longer felt I had control over myself.  
2. I was ravenous all the time.
3. My stomach hurt.
4. I was irritable.
5. I slept poorly and was very hot during the night.
6. I woke up tired.
7. I gained 8 pounds.
8. I was very bloated, my rings and flip flops left imprints in my skin.
9. I was sad I did it.
10. It wasn't worth it.
11. I was more motivated than ever to get back on plan (and stay there).

When I started I made a commitment to myself that I would be in this for life.  This is a journey NOT a destination, and there will be peaks and valleys and hardships and triumphs, and every time I fall I will get right back up and move forward.

  

Read more about my journey here.  If you would like to learn more about my plan please visit www.bodymindwellnesscoach.com Pin It

{taking control}

Funny how life happens...

When I got married 12 years ago I was 127lbs and had a 26 inch waist.  I never 'dieted' or watched what I ate and my exercise routine was anemic.  I ate what I wanted and stopped when I was full.  It wasn't a conscience thing...I just did it.  I would go out to eat and have 1/3 of my dinner and then eat the rest over the next couple of days.  

Over the next 12 years I went up and down with my weight.  I tried different programs with different levels of success.  This past January I found myself at my top weight ever...246lbs.  I was humiliated.  How could I let this happen?  I needed a plan, an easy to follow plan that would be safe, healthy and effective.

Last summer a friend of mine, our children were in the same classes at school, shared that she had started a program.  I followed her story with great interest and saw she was losing a lot of weight and feeling fantastic.  I was so inspired by her and asked how she was doing it.  I was familiar with her plan, I knew it was a safe, clinically proven plan that I could be successful on.  It took me another 3 months to actually commit and signup.  My friend became my health coach.  She held my hand and answered my questions and guided me along the way (she still does).  In the last year she has lost 145 lbs, so amazing!  In the last 4+ months I have lost 43 lbs and I feel great!  I am sleeping great and have tons and tons of energy.  

I believe in this plan so much that I decided to become a health coach too.  It is so rewarding to help others on this journey to ultimate health.  We are all so different and it helps so much to have someone walk with you along the path.

This is my FIRST before/after picture.  

38 lbs & 5 waist inches - GONE!

I have lost an additional 5 lbs since this picture was taken.  I've struggled to stay on the plan this past month, old habits die hard, but it is getting easier.  I am in this for the long haul.  My husband was so inspired by my own success that he started the plan today!  I would love to help other people too.  If you want to hear more about my program email me at bodymindwellnesscoach@gmail.com. Pin It

{31 DSP/Day 25 - Losing Weight}

I had a fantastic birthday weekend, ate tons of great food and slept in until 9 (soooo late - ha!).  It was a great time to reconnect with Ben.

Now it is back to reality and the reality is....

I need to lose quite a bit of weight.  I am getting to the point where my feet hurt...a lot...like I'm almost a little afraid I have another stress fracture.  *insert big frowny face*  I'm so tired of walking around like an old woman (among other reasons I hate being fat - see here).

I wasn't always very over weight.  It is only been the past 3 or so years that I have been obese.  I checked my BMI (which, for me, is actually a very good indicator of health) and it is 37...not good.  I feel like this:

and it is SOOOO frustrating because I KNOW there is a problem and I KNOW how to fix it...I just don't.  That is my fault.  I did this to myself and nobody can lose the weight for me.

My niece has asked me to be her confirmation sponsor next May.  I'm totally ignoring the fact that she is old enough to be confirmed (she will be 16) and she was less than a year old when Ben and I met.  This means I'll have to stand in front of the congregation...there will be lots of pictures...I want to feel confident and happy in front of the camera.  I also want to be healthy, live longer, blah blah blah...I want to look good in pictures!  :D

I have roughly 32 weeks until the ceremony.  I have around 106 lbs to lose, I'm aiming to get back between 130 - 140 lbs (I am 5'7").  That is a very healthy, positive weight range for me.

Now don't get all excited...I'm not expecting to lose all of that in the next 6-7 months.  I should be well on my way though...I just HAVE TO START!

I would like to wear a dress to the ceremony.  I love this one from Ruche, with some kick ass heels.

via Ruche

It would be amazing to pull that off.  It will be a lot of work but I keep thinking about how great it will feel to walk into the church and stand up with my niece and not worry about my frump.

Today I will get back on my eating plan!

I will do a post soon on my eating/exercise plan.  It was created for me by a good friend of mine who is a personal trainer.  When I have followed it in the past I have felt amazing and seen results, so I know it works.  It takes a bit of planning but I've been repeating the following to myself...

Everything takes work...I need to work at the things that make me a better person!

click this button to find my other 31 Days posts

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{pros & cons of being obese}

I thought I would make a list of the Pros and Cons of being obese...this list is by no means exhaustive!

Pros:
1. Not counting calories
2. Instant gratification - eating what I want/when I want.

Cons:
1. My knees creak and crackle when I bend them (what the...I'm only 32!).
2. I can't wear any of the clothes I want and the clothes I can wear are not comfortable.
3. I feel very self conscience of how I move through the room (am I waddling?).
4. I fear that someone will congratulate me on my impending birth.
5. I don't feel comfortable in a bathing suit or naked.
6. My feet hurt when I walk.
7. My joints ache.
8. I feel that everyone is looking at me with either pity or disgust.
9. I'm a bad example for my children.
10. I feel very sluggish.
11. When I look down I feel my chins folding. (this is a new one but holy camoly I don't like the way that feels).
12. I feel like life is passing me by.
13. Getting mad at myself for letting this happen.
14. I don't want the people who knew me thin & fit to see me now.
15. I don't have any weight related health problems.......yet!
16. My wedding rings don't fit and I'm not going to pay to have them enlarged....again.
17. I don't feel like myself.
18. The bed shakes when I roll over (or my boobs get in the way).
19. Walking up the stairs makes me short of breath.
20. My shoes have flattened out width wise. :{

21. I have a fear of something happening to me, the EMTs being called and it taking 4 of them to lift and move me.

Now when I am really tempted to eat/drink something I shouldn't I can look at these 21 reasons why I hate being obese and compare them to the 2 reasons 'I like' being obese. I think the choice is clear!

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{fresh start}

How many times in the last 4 years have I said that? Too many.

i
am
done
with
that

with feeling guilty...with being mad at myself...for starting hard and giving up way too easily.
I want
need
must
become healthy again.

So I'm back. For good. No more rock bottoms. No more tomorrows. Yesterday I said tomorrow and every yesterday before that I said tomorrow. This is it. I'm only living in this day, hour, minute, second. I can only make choices for now and plan for the next one.

It isn't 'hard.' I've done it before (TWICE!). I've never had 100+ lbs to lose before though. I know I have to take it 1 lb (or 5 or 10) at a time but in reality I know it is a 106 and it will take me at least a year to get there. Sometimes that gets me really down and then the negative feelings come back...how on earth did I let this happen to myself?!?!

Starting feels different this time...

Hubs is gone for a 4 week business trip. Since together we have developed some very bad habits over the years, having him gone feels like a head start. Not that he wouldn't support me 100% (he would) but now all I have to worry about it what I am eating. I'm hoping to use this time to establish new habits and work towards some short term goals. I am not telling him what I'm doing. It'll be fun to show him when he gets home.

here it goes...

before pics: 6/19/2011 - 236lbs 5'7"

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